Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Love Changes Your Life

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When I was a little girl, I dreamed of what it would be like to grow up and fall in love just like Cinderella. I would play house and pretend that I was married. I would imagine what it would be like to come home every day and see the same person over and over again. On the other hand, I thought that it would be pretty nice to have someone who would love me unconditionally and be there when things weren’t going so well. As I grew up, I realized more and more what it would be like to love someone. I saw my cousins and their boyfriends together all the time and how happy they looked. I am sure that everyone falls in love sometime in his or her life, whether it is for a second or forever. But for me, falling in love for the first time changed my life forever.

When I was in the seventh grade, my best friend Ashley and I were together all the time. We always went to football games and to dances. I would even go with her to baby-sit. She was my very best friend and we never got tired of being around each other. If I wasn’t at her house, you could find her at mine. You could almost say we were more like sisters than best friends.

Whenever I went to baby-sit with her, we would always have so much fun. There were four kids and the youngest was two. We would play with them all day long. The oldest child was only two years younger than us. It was always fun to play with his Nintendo and listen to all of his cd’s. One day when we were baby-sitting, a guy named Nathan came over. He was the same age as Ashley and I. The minute he walked through that door, I couldn’t stop staring at him. He was about six foot; he had dark hair, and big brown eyes. He was so cute. I could barely talk because I was so nervous. I had never really had a real boyfriend. Finally, we all sat down and played truth or dare. After a long time, he got dared to kiss me. My face turned a bright shade of red just at the thought. I nearly died as he slowly leaned over and kissed me.

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Two years later, Ashley and I went to the mall. We were waiting in line for the when I looked up and saw someone smiling at me. I realized that it was Nathan and he was coming my way. I started to get butterflies in my stomach and my face was red. He came over and we started talking. We exchanged phone numbers this time, and we talked to each other every night for the next two weeks. On December 4th, Nathan asked me out and I said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. Nathan and I were inseparable. I would go over to his house at noon and stay until ten that night. We never fought. We would go to the movies, and take walks at night. He would take me out to eat and to football games. He brought me to all of his family events and I brought him to all of mine. We would lie on the couch and talk for hours about things that meant nothing at all. When I would look into his eyes, I could see them sparking as he smiled at me. He made me feel like a princess. We would play in the snow like little children and throw snowballs at each other. Exhausted, we would fall down on the ground and just lie there staring up at the stars up in the sky. He would come and visit me at work. Sometimes when I would get out of school, I would come to my car to find roses sitting on the windshield. He was the perfect boyfriend, and I knew it.

We went to different schools. So the minute that I got out of school, I would drive in to town and stay as long as I could before I had to go home and do my homework. Not only was Nathan my boyfriend, he was my whole world. After we were together for nearly a year, Nathan’s grandpa passed away. It was really hard for me to see him like that, but he kept telling me that just having me sit next to him helped. Nathan was really close to his grandpa and we spent the next couple of months just sitting and talking about stories that he remembered from his grandpa.

Over the next six months, we got very close. We both went to our first prom together. Even though I had been with him for so long, I had never seen him look as handsome as he did at prom. His shoes shined when the light hit him and he smiled at me like he was having the time of his life. That evening, we danced for so long. I will never forget the way he would look at me when he held me in his arms. It seemed like nothing else ever mattered to him.

Nearly five days before the first day of our senior year, we decided to go and see American Pie II. I had gotten so comfortable around Nathan, that sometimes I didn’t even bother putting makeup on or even wearing something cute. This time, however, I thought that I would surprise him. I put on a really cute outfit that I had just got and I did my hair that way that he liked it. When he came to get me, he had three orange roses in hand. I quickly put them in a vase and we were on our way. As we were driving to town, he was messing with his cd player, trying to play a song for me. We were talking and everything was normal, until something happened and it changed us…. forever.

A van came at us from the side. As it hit us with so much force that we nearly shot into the ditch, I let out a scream of terror and pain. I remember hitting the ditch and feeling the intense pain of the seatbelt catching me. It felt like someone had just thrown me into a brick wall. Instant pain shot up both of my legs like a hammer hitting a nail. I started crying because it hurt like nothing I have ever felt before. I looked over at Nathan and began to say his name. His eyes were closed and I could hear him moaning. I started screaming his name but he wouldn’t wake up. I got so scared that I started to tap on his arm. My hands were cut from the glass and I could see my bloody fingerprints on the side of his arm. Some lady came up to my window, and asked me if I was okay. I told her to help Nathan, but she assured me that someone else was helping him. She asked me to get up, and I told her that my foot hurt so bad that I didn’t think that I could stand on it. She helped me out of the car. I could hear sirens and she handed me her cell phone. I called my mom and Nathan’s mom. I told them to meet us at the hospital. Ironically enough, when the ambulance came I realized that I knew the EMT. It was Tom, the father of the children that Ashley and I used to baby-sit for. He picked me up and carried me to the stretcher. I kept asking about Nathan, but no one knew much. I knew that lifeline had been called and the next thing I knew, we were on our way to the hospital.

After we got there, I went to x-ray for my foot. I found out that I had two broken toes. I had huge bruises up and down my legs and my knee had two scars from where it went into his cd player. I had a black line from my shoulder to my waist from the seatbelt. I have never been in so much pain before. I kept asking them to let me see Nathan, and finally, my best friend Ashley wheeled me down there. When I saw him, I started crying. He had a big gash in his head and on his chin. They were putting stitches and staples in them. He looked scared. The nurse came out and asked if I was Ashley. She told me that Nathan had been asking about me nonstop. I told her I was. She had him look out the door at me, and he smiled. I felt like everything would be okay. I got treated and released a few hours later, but Nathan had to stay overnight.

That night as I lied there, I couldn’t sleep. I was replaying what had happened over and over in my mind. I knew at that moment that I would never forget a detail of what had happened that day. The next morning, I went to the hospital to get Nathan. We all went to his house. It felt really uncomfortable to be sitting next to him and I could tell that he felt the same. It seemed like something was missing after the accident happened. Nathan couldn’t remember anything from the wreck. In a way, I thought that was better for him because I couldn’t get it off my mind. He told me that he just wanted to know if it was his fault. I told him hundreds of times that it wasn’t, but I don’t think he believed me.

Nearly two months later, Nathan broke up with me. He told me that he just couldn’t pretend anymore. He said that ever since the accident, he had changed. He didn’t feel the same way about me anymore and he couldn’t explain why. He said that even though nothing really bad came out of the accident, he felt that it took a part of him, and that part was me. I couldn’t understand why he felt like this, because the accident made me appreciate him more. I realized how important he was to me and for him it did the exact opposite. Sometimes I sit and wonder what it would be like to have my high school sweetheart back again. I wonder if the accident had never happened if we would still be together right now. Even though I don’t see Nathan anymore there is one thing that will never change in my heart, I will always love him.

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